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Redirecting Energy
It's been a few days since she was twelve. And Lucy thinks this place is boring.
The reports have been made and filed. Most of the reunions she sought out have happen. The most memorable one was pure chaos. Maybe she should have expected that?
No, you really don't expect to be twelve twice. Especially not while in the quarters of you best friend. Who got displaced between his bridge shift ending and entering his quarters. Who now has a daughter. Who collapsed in your arms earlier in the day.
Strength enough to bend par-steel, but likely held back by the Laws of Robotics, and she felt helpless.
Yar has always had a duty to the helpless. Even more than that, she's a sweet kid.
The buzzer to Lal's quarters chimes.
The reports have been made and filed. Most of the reunions she sought out have happen. The most memorable one was pure chaos. Maybe she should have expected that?
No, you really don't expect to be twelve twice. Especially not while in the quarters of you best friend. Who got displaced between his bridge shift ending and entering his quarters. Who now has a daughter. Who collapsed in your arms earlier in the day.
Strength enough to bend par-steel, but likely held back by the Laws of Robotics, and she felt helpless.
Yar has always had a duty to the helpless. Even more than that, she's a sweet kid.
The buzzer to Lal's quarters chimes.
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Then again, Alice's methods were... Quite different.
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She's split between letting Lal talk about that alternative timeline and demanding she move on from it, to be honest. If she's anything like her father though, she needs to talk it out. She'll willingly listen, even when her stories threaten to break her heart with their isolation. Lal's positronic mind clearly craved stimuli, and not in the same way as what she was used to from Data. Hers was more...starved. That was it. She latched onto novelty and new ideas like Tasha had been in awe of replicators and showers when she first escaped. It was as if the whole concept of never having to just fight to get through a day - to feel full, clean, and honest - was both a relief and a terror. The terror came from the idea it would all just disappear and drop them back off where they had been.
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Her expression is somewhere halfway between sad and angry. In fact, Lal herself can't tell which one is stronger. "She was one of us. Not a Soong-Type, much older. She was my friend as well." My only friend... "But, she had to leave because her rules were different." She taps her temple, as if to illustrate she means Alice's programming.
"I have been here for quite some time, and I don't know if I've forgiven her yet. Even though it is irrational to be upset, considering the circumstances of her departure."
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"Just you and more androids? All the time?"
If she sounds incredulous, she is. Sure, she can see Data as a fussy parent in some reality. A grabby one? Maybe. An abusive and broken one - which, as forgiving as Lal is being - is what she's been signaling? Never. Except some small, malicious devil keeps whispering something she doesn't want to examine.
Her attraction to older men with power is a reoccurring theme - and it was almost never men who would have enjoyed her company as a person. (The ones who did respect her person-hood had wisdom and good sense not to indulge her.) It was a hold-over from the colony and its themes of survival. Sure, she did see some people find love, or at least comfort, with each other there. It never lasted, because death and drugs and a philosophy of individual survival dominated every atom on the planet. Those who didn't fall apart were crushed.
What she felt for Data was multiple things: A shock, a delight, a terror, foolhardy in the extreme, and - honestly - something of a miracle. She kept it locked up because, what was there to do about it? But what she cherished the most was the fact that he was the exception. She was the world-weary one. Hadn't she stood here in this room and said, My friend Data. You see things with the wonder of a child, and that makes you more human than any of us?
The descriptions of Lal's father sound like...not the exception. It's not the here and now, and the here and now is hardly what Lal's then and was would have been. Still, the devil has a foothold.
And she's not paying attention, Lal. Sorry.
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But, my father would not have let just anyone into the house. If he had hired a human, they would have discovered our true nature, and ruined my father's cover story for us. Many people had their eyes on him, since he was the big boss of the most extravagant casino on the whole planet. But, he was a little paranoid too. I can understand his point about my fits, but my age and experience? Two years of age is much different for an android than it is for a human! And as I always asked him, how was I supposed to gain experience if I was stuck at the top of a tower all the time?"
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Casinos? Only being know - truly known - by a few like-minded souls? Paranoia? Imprisonment? And she's seen the night life on Orion, thank you very much. She's seen, and heard, enough.
What the hell could ever make him into that?
She gets up and re-enters the ring. As she turns, just like that, Lal can see the shift. The warm welcoming woman she's been talking to condensed into herself and becomes ice. Ice too cold and slippery to hold onto and sharp enough to kill.
"You don't." Her tone slices through the air like a scythe. "If your fits are about panic and being out of control, we're going to make sure you have defenses, even if you go back."
Even if you have to throw that wraith across a room to do it.
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She looks almost embarrassed as she goes on. "Of course, having a fit is disruptive, but I am able to repair myself if I go to sleep."
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"Blinking back there is a possibility," she intones. "Do you feel prepared to face whatever might be there and not lose yourself?"
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I am worried about my father in my time, though. I have been gone a very long time, and if time has continued in my absence, I do not think he will stop searching for me."
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She's not even blinking.
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She steps closer to Tasha, concerned, but unsure. "If who succeeds?"
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She's still tense, but...human tension.
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"I - think we've done enough today." She rushing past Lal quickly to get a towel.
Because, damn if she knows. In her head, that wasn't even her voice for a moment.
"And, just so you know, I'll try to keep listening to stories, because I know you need to talk, but..they bring up memories of things -" She screws her eyes shut. "I would never want you to know about."
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Lal starts after her. "Tasha, I'm sorry, I didn't know." It was true. She knew a little about Tasha's past, but she had no idea her life would remind her of anything. And while she's resolving not to bother Tasha with any of that anymore, she's not actually going to voice that part.
Instead, she'll steer right back into that... What even was it? A trance?
"Do you want to go to sickbay? I can accompany you."
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"Wait. That didn't filter though in your memories? Where I grew up? He never said anything?"
The headache is going . she doesn't think she needs Sickbay, but give her a moment more. Besides, she wants to hear this.
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"I knew that it was bad, but not much more than that."