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Word Choices
To say her first home did not have weddings would be an understatement. Her second home with the Vulcan clan which took her in after that nightmare, like all Vulcan clans, arranged their marriages. Being human (and hopelessly illogical), she wasn't going to be subject to that.
So, please forgive her, Deanna. Tasha is going to be buzzing around her friend with all the enthusiasm of an anthropologist hummingbird. At least today, she bringing stories:
"So Data turns to all of them with this grin and says, 'Could you please continue the petty bickering? I find it most intriguing!' You mother practically burned a hole glaring at her food while still trying to smile!"
So, please forgive her, Deanna. Tasha is going to be buzzing around her friend with all the enthusiasm of an anthropologist hummingbird. At least today, she bringing stories:
"So Data turns to all of them with this grin and says, 'Could you please continue the petty bickering? I find it most intriguing!' You mother practically burned a hole glaring at her food while still trying to smile!"
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She bites her lip. "Won't be pretty, but - okay." Then, with extreme hesitation, though her hands are fluttering, which Deanna knows very well means the warrior before her is searching for words. Tasha finally settles on something. "Can I ask you something?"
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Then her voice gentles, if just slightly. "Tasha--would you mind if I explain why nudity is part of the wedding service for us? And of course. You may ask me anything. Always.:
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The whole 'naked men' bit? There's a wave of mixed emotions that bites at Troi, not unlike a wave at the beach which comes farther in than you'd expect, but ultimately only bites and tugs at your ankles. There's some part of Tasha - a part she doesn't like much - that knows that can be useful and covets that attention. Every other part of her hates everything about it, including that cunning.
There's also a desire not to be a damned fool around Troi...again...
Blonde eyebrows shoot into wispy bangs and she gets a sense of completely non-lurid honest curiosity. "I would. I mean, 'act of love?'" The younger woman rolls her shoulders in complete confusion.
She puts the other question on hold while this one has her rapt attention.
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Deanna never pities Tasha, nor does she indulge in wishing Tasha had been granted a kinder past.
Troi never lets herself think about the past being different for anyone. Especially herself.
But there is something akin to, well, empathy--that tinged with sadness--that there is so much confusion coming from the woman she enjoys spending time with when they're off-duty.
Aaand then she realizes that she may have created the possibility of having to explain some other things related to the act of love as well.
Will.
Her face is thoughtful as she considers for a moment, stretching her shoulders out slightly as she thinks.
"First, so I know where to start, do you know anything else about the wedding ceremony? Most people don't, but I think that's because the nudity issue rather leaves people too stunned to learn more. --And given that, it does mean something to me that you are asking more." It's sincere without being earnest; talking simply and directly with Tasha has seemed the best method so far; emphasizing things, being earnest: those are reserved for the most important or urgent of things for her to grasp. Troi decided that rather shortly after meeting Tasha Yar.
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Troi gets the sense that the Vulcans made that call; not her.
"Not all weddings on Betazed are arranged though, right? I mean your father was human."
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Imzadi, she thinks, and uninentionally (unwillingly) sends the word to Will.
What Betazoid wouldn't prefer her Imzadi to a match she has little interest in? Even if Wyatt is--Will is--oh, Great Fire--
It's all mixed up in her heart, but she forces her head to be clear for now, at least.
"Not all are arranged," she agrees. "Many that involve at least one member who is a member of one of the Houses are, but not even all of those."
They near an area with comfortable chairs near a several pieces of greenery, and Deanna gestures for them to sit.
"Were you ever truly interested in someone, at least in passing?" she asks out of curiosity and as a way to allow her time to gather her thoughts.
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Knowing full well she can't dive for cover in front of an empath, she just mutters. "It was a bad idea." Then, there's a glimmer of happiness that glints through and overshadows the darker things. "We're still friends." Her emotions turn thoughtful. "I didn't think it would get as out of hand as it did. I shut that part of me down after the colony and I got sideswiped by it all."
There a small huff followed by, "Little wonder people arrange these things."
She sighs and rolls her eyes at herself. "And I'm talking when you just brought it up to make a point. Sorry. Got ahead."
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Troi then carefully tucks her feet over her and thinks. "You wanted to know about nudity. And it is about the act of love, but--Tasha, did you assume that only referred to sex?"
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With a blink, the tactician retreats.
"But connecting it with love?" She blows the bangs out of her eyes. "I don't know how it fits."
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"There are multiple elements to the ceremony, Tasha, and to both sex and love in general for Betazoids." And the most painful one she will deal with last, if she has to.
Deanna immediately feels guilty for the thought and continues explaining the one she thinks might be easiest for Tasha to grasp as a starting point. "Most Betazoids are telepathic, Tasha, and even empaths like me can communicate telepathically with other Betazoids, as well as--as with non-Betazoids with whom we've formed certain bonds. The bonds are...something perhaps best described as between special and sacred.
"The result is many Betazoids, especially those who rarely go offworld, pay little attention to the bodies and dress of those around them. Even those close to them. So on a certain level, nudity is a way of saying--and reminding all who are present at the wedding--that the bride and groom are actively, at least for those moments, taking in all parts of each other. Body and mind. And that the body that contains the mind is just as loved as the mind it houses."
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"That's new," she conceded.
Maybe not too new...
Did it all get out of hand because he'd been a whole other kind of attractive? One she couldn't use?
But you did. she reminds herself.
This snaps her back to the her and now. "It's not like you know Wyatt. Are you even attracted to him in any of those ways?" After she asks, she regrets it. Damn curiosity.
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But Deanna tries to be honest, and so she's silent for a few moments, trying to find the right answer. "In some ways I'm attracted to him, yes."
Despite her argument with Riker and her comments about loving Wyatt, too, though...
She tries to be honest. She doesn't always manage it.
"Physically I'm attracted to him. And we are comfortable with each other."
The words sound lame even to her.
"We do not...have one of the bonds I spoke of. Not the most ideal one, certainly, but--not any. Marriage alone won't fix that."