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[tasha_yar]

To say her first home did not have weddings would be an understatement. Her second home with the Vulcan clan which took her in after that nightmare, like all Vulcan clans, arranged their marriages. Being human (and hopelessly illogical), she wasn't going to be subject to that.

So, please forgive her, Deanna. Tasha is going to be buzzing around her friend with all the enthusiasm of an anthropologist hummingbird. At least today, she bringing stories:

"So Data turns to all of them with this grin and says, 'Could you please continue the petty bickering? I find it most intriguing!' You mother practically burned a hole glaring at her food while still trying to smile!"

Comments

[2_worlds_1_woman]

Troi's expression is one that should be preserved for the record; pain at the certain knowledge she'll be hearing about this from Lwaxana's point of view in the near future and hysterical giggles fight for dominance of her face.

The giggling wins.

"Oh, Data. I do wish he had been around when I was younger and still living on Betazed. It would--well, not made anything at all easier, but it most certainly would have made it more entertaining."

[tasha_yar]

"No emotion in a society where they're all there all the time?" There's still an enthusiasm over her features and an excitement in her voice which is making her just a little louder than socially acceptable. But there's this note of something under it which she feel Tasha pocket back into herself. A calmer demeanor replaces it.

"Thank you for helping with my hair." She sighs. "Mott keeps wanting to have it be long." Her face curls in an almost child-like disgust.

Time to swap subjects, and quickly. "So - naked? Is that for everyone?"

[2_worlds_1_woman]

Deanna laughs; this time, two expressions (amusement and a little bit of puzzlement, as only a little of that is left by now) merge on her face, rather than fight each other for dominance.

"That's always what everyone who isn't familiar with our ways asks about first! And yes, everyone."

[tasha_yar]

Tasha rolls her eyes and Deanna gets a little sting of shame. "Sorry."

She bites her lip. "Won't be pretty, but - okay." Then, with extreme hesitation, though her hands are fluttering, which Deanna knows very well means the warrior before her is searching for words. Tasha finally settles on something. "Can I ask you something?"

[2_worlds_1_woman]

It didn't take long to figure out that the indirect approach--and also not focusing on things so much as letting them just flow as part of the conversation--was the best way of interacting with Tasha. "Why on Earth be sorry? I told you, it's what everyone does first," Deana replies with a smile. "The males have an overwhelming tendency to leer while asking it, too--until they realize that they'll be naked, too." Tasha's sent a slightly mischievous smirk at that.

Then her voice gentles, if just slightly. "Tasha--would you mind if I explain why nudity is part of the wedding service for us? And of course. You may ask me anything. Always.:

[tasha_yar]

She huffs. "Because it's just another one of those things I should know." Her hands move off her lap. "I know. 'Don't be so hard on yourself,'" she notes, anticipating the counselor's next comment.

The whole 'naked men' bit? There's a wave of mixed emotions that bites at Troi, not unlike a wave at the beach which comes farther in than you'd expect, but ultimately only bites and tugs at your ankles. There's some part of Tasha - a part she doesn't like much - that knows that can be useful and covets that attention. Every other part of her hates everything about it, including that cunning.

There's also a desire not to be a damned fool around Troi...again...

Blonde eyebrows shoot into wispy bangs and she gets a sense of completely non-lurid honest curiosity. "I would. I mean, 'act of love?'" The younger woman rolls her shoulders in complete confusion.

She puts the other question on hold while this one has her rapt attention.

[2_worlds_1_woman]

"Why should you know?" Her tone is only reasonable. "Betazoid culture is particularly complex, compared to that of some other worlds. It also contradicts itself in certain places. Earth and Vulcan, each in their own ways, are the only planets I know of that are similar in those respects. You're not the first one to ask this question, Tasha."

Deanna never pities Tasha, nor does she indulge in wishing Tasha had been granted a kinder past.

Troi never lets herself think about the past being different for anyone. Especially herself.

But there is something akin to, well, empathy--that tinged with sadness--that there is so much confusion coming from the woman she enjoys spending time with when they're off-duty.

Aaand then she realizes that she may have created the possibility of having to explain some other things related to the act of love as well.

Will.

Her face is thoughtful as she considers for a moment, stretching her shoulders out slightly as she thinks.

"First, so I know where to start, do you know anything else about the wedding ceremony? Most people don't, but I think that's because the nudity issue rather leaves people too stunned to learn more. --And given that, it does mean something to me that you are asking more." It's sincere without being earnest; talking simply and directly with Tasha has seemed the best method so far; emphasizing things, being earnest: those are reserved for the most important or urgent of things for her to grasp. Troi decided that rather shortly after meeting Tasha Yar.

[tasha_yar]

"I'm not sure where to start," she says ruefully. "All the weddings I've been to have been diplomatic functions. I was there to guard or show Starfleet's support. The colony had people who were committed ot one another." Her eyes grow distant for a moment. "Sometimes...Rarely...it even -" She laces her fingers together. "Worked. There was affection there." Then, Tasha shrugs. "On Vulcan, the weddings are almost always arranged and ritualized. It just wasn't something for me."

Troi gets the sense that the Vulcans made that call; not her.

"Not all weddings on Betazed are arranged though, right? I mean your father was human."

[2_worlds_1_woman]

She doesn't want to think of arranged marriages with regard to herself.

Imzadi, she thinks, and uninentionally (unwillingly) sends the word to Will.

What Betazoid wouldn't prefer her Imzadi to a match she has little interest in? Even if Wyatt is--Will is--oh, Great Fire--

It's all mixed up in her heart, but she forces her head to be clear for now, at least.

"Not all are arranged," she agrees. "Many that involve at least one member who is a member of one of the Houses are, but not even all of those."

They near an area with comfortable chairs near a several pieces of greenery, and Deanna gestures for them to sit.

"Were you ever truly interested in someone, at least in passing?" she asks out of curiosity and as a way to allow her time to gather her thoughts.

[tasha_yar]

Deanna might not be prepared for that reaction. Her eyes snap to her boots and there is a sharp hit of shame, and, as it fades, sadness. Clearly, it's not something that has healed or faded yet.

Knowing full well she can't dive for cover in front of an empath, she just mutters. "It was a bad idea." Then, there's a glimmer of happiness that glints through and overshadows the darker things. "We're still friends." Her emotions turn thoughtful. "I didn't think it would get as out of hand as it did. I shut that part of me down after the colony and I got sideswiped by it all."

There a small huff followed by, "Little wonder people arrange these things."

She sighs and rolls her eyes at herself. "And I'm talking when you just brought it up to make a point. Sorry. Got ahead."

[2_worlds_1_woman]

"Tasha." Dark eyes make sure to meet those of the other woman's. "I was trying," and her voice is gentle, "to ask you a question because I care. And since I care, I'm curious about you." Warmth and friendship radiates, if softly, from Deanna as she speaks.

Troi then carefully tucks her feet over her and thinks. "You wanted to know about nudity. And it is about the act of love, but--Tasha, did you assume that only referred to sex?"

[tasha_yar]

"Sex. Sex is one thing I do understand," she says flatly. It's close to the tone she used when inspecting the weapons for her battle with Yareena. "Using it to cement alliances? I understand that as well."

With a blink, the tactician retreats.

"But connecting it with love?" She blows the bangs out of her eyes. "I don't know how it fits."

[2_worlds_1_woman]

Deanna looks thoughtful as she adjusts her skirt; she's found that wearing her uniform seems to make people more hesitant in counseling sessions, but she misses it and is considering going back to it.

"There are multiple elements to the ceremony, Tasha, and to both sex and love in general for Betazoids." And the most painful one she will deal with last, if she has to.

Deanna immediately feels guilty for the thought and continues explaining the one she thinks might be easiest for Tasha to grasp as a starting point. "Most Betazoids are telepathic, Tasha, and even empaths like me can communicate telepathically with other Betazoids, as well as--as with non-Betazoids with whom we've formed certain bonds. The bonds are...something perhaps best described as between special and sacred.

"The result is many Betazoids, especially those who rarely go offworld, pay little attention to the bodies and dress of those around them. Even those close to them. So on a certain level, nudity is a way of saying--and reminding all who are present at the wedding--that the bride and groom are actively, at least for those moments, taking in all parts of each other. Body and mind. And that the body that contains the mind is just as loved as the mind it houses."

[tasha_yar]

Her friend grows uncharacteristically quiet and still.

"That's new," she conceded.

Maybe not too new...

Did it all get out of hand because he'd been a whole other kind of attractive? One she couldn't use?

But you did. she reminds herself.

This snaps her back to the her and now. "It's not like you know Wyatt. Are you even attracted to him in any of those ways?" After she asks, she regrets it. Damn curiosity.

[2_worlds_1_woman]

This leads, potentially, to the question she's now suspecting will come.

But Deanna tries to be honest, and so she's silent for a few moments, trying to find the right answer. "In some ways I'm attracted to him, yes."

Despite her argument with Riker and her comments about loving Wyatt, too, though...

She tries to be honest. She doesn't always manage it.

"Physically I'm attracted to him. And we are comfortable with each other."

The words sound lame even to her.

"We do not...have one of the bonds I spoke of. Not the most ideal one, certainly, but--not any. Marriage alone won't fix that."

[tasha_yar]

"He's human. I mean, do you think you could be involved enough with a human to read him the way you're talking about?"

[2_worlds_1_woman]

Deanna refuses to let her eyes close, but she can't help the tumult of emotions running through her. Worse, she suspects Will is getting some of it, even with her not intending to send.

"...I know I can have a bond that allows me to read a human that way. Yes."

[tasha_yar]

Tasha often waffles between being out of her depth and sharp as a scalpel. This situation requires neither.

"I'm so sorry, Deanna. I didn't -" She bites her lip. "It's Will, isn't it? I mean, I read he was assigned to Betazed and you were friends, I just didn't -" She moves her fingers together. "Put it all together."

[2_worlds_1_woman]

She lets herself look down and smile crookedly, then. "Imzadi. That's the name of the bond. To have it at all is special and slightly uncommon. You can have a happy marriage without it. But it's...the ideal. And you only have it with one person."

Deanna looks up then, face calm. "Yes. It's Will. We are still Imzadi. And a couple being Imzadi goes back to some of our earliest myths. The ones we formed our religion from--or part of what we formed them from. The Imzadi bond, in the myths, also relate to marriage."

[tasha_yar]

Tasha scrunches up her face in confusion. "Is it kind of like fairy tale true love or something?"

And then she realizes she might not want that information about one of her commanding officers and her best friend, but - again, compulsive curiosity stalked her; made her shut up, lean close, listen, maybe even believe in it (just a little).

"Whatever would help me understand," And you offload. A hand floats over to Deanna's "I'm listening."

[2_worlds_1_woman]

Deanna is pleasantly surprised by the gesture and turns her hand over to clasp Tasha's.

"It means, literally, the first. Not the first person you've had sex with necessarily--that barely matters--but the first..." She trails off for a moment before finishing a little more quietly. "Will is my Imzadi because he was the first to touch my soul through love. And I'm his for the same reason. The bond it creates is something that all Betazoids hope to have within their marriage. It--it is an intimacy beyond sex. And when you experience it, you know. Even if you're not a Betazoid. It's not necessary for the wedding--not all Betazoids ever have an Imzadi, or they may marry someone else."

Just like she's supposed to do, as a daughter of the Fifth House.

"...Would you like to hear how this bond evolved, according to Betazoid beliefs?"

[tasha_yar]

Blue eyes grow wide as galaxies. "Really? Wow. I -" Tasha cuts herself off. Deanna can sense something moving like silk across flesh slip through her friend's thoughts, sobering her and leaving her more thoughtful and quiet in its wake.

"You just know, huh? That someone has a soul and you got to touch it? I can see being grateful for that. Even if it's only a moment; it would be for a lifetime."

As for the rest, she nods, still a little lost in her thoughts.

[2_worlds_1_woman]

"I knew. He didn't know about it, but once I explained it--he knew, too. You can feel it on a level so deep that your mind cannot argue the fact."

Tasha is one of her two dearest friends, not counting Will, on the Enterprise, and so Deanna is open about this part of her past as she's been with no one else. "If my mother had not been manipulative and interfered, we likely would have married. We certainly would have been together. But my mother...gets what she wants most of the time. And I was not strong enough to stand up to her until it was too late."

She doesn't blame only her mother or herself. But this part of the discussion doesn't need to be gone into in more detail.

Deanna thinks for a moment. "Are you even vaguely familiar with Native American religious beliefs and philosophy?"

[tasha_yar]

"No, but I'm willing to put Ambassador Troi in a shuttle with locked autopilot and cover Will's shifts for a week," she grumbled.

She was starting to wonder if all this was turning her into a closet romantic. How ridiculous would that be? All things considered she figured she'd place better odds on Data eventually figuring out these kinds of garbled, intense personal attachments than she would. Would this then be the famed Haven magic at work? That was even more ludicrous. There was no magic. Q be damned.

[2_worlds_1_woman]

Her smile's sad this time, for the first time. "I don't think it would change anything. Beyond lowering my stress level, as my mother always makes it rather high. She won't stop calling me Little One no matter how many times I ask her." The last is grumbled as she pulls her legs into a more comfortable position.

"Betazoid religion and philosophy involves beliefs in gods, heaven, spirits associated with various sites and even just rocks or trees, and the Fates. The Mendissian Historians and the Marital Forces, which protect both married couples and--well. Imzadi. It's a mix of things that have been blended together. You don't need to know all of it; I'm just letting you have an idea of what it's like. It's not even what I believe and practice any longer.

Deanna would kill for something chocolate about now.

:The Imzadi came to be something recognized, named, and desired as the most ideal relationship due to the Great Fire and the Marital Forces."

[tasha_yar]

"Is the Great Fire married, then? I mean I know all this is ancient customs and they aren't designed to make logical sense. That's fine. Continue."

[2_worlds_1_woman]

Deanna laughs at that. "If it is, I've never been told! Anything's possible. The Great Fire created life and gifted Betazoids with telepathy. It was meant to be a gift to create the sort of society that is on Betazed now. A peaceful one.

"But surprisingly," and her voice is dry, "many Betazoids misused the power they'd been given. It eventually lead to a civil war. Many parts of our society were established when it ended--it's when it became a matriarchy--but two were more important than anything else. The Great Fire created the Mendissian Historians. They separated the thirteen families that had worked hardest to end the war and bring peace. Those thirteen families because the Thirteen Houses. Each one is associated with one of the thirteen traits that Betazoids hold most dear. The Third House is the House of Health, for example; the Seventh is the House of Courage. Members of a house are generally expected to ensure they have that trait as a strong part of their personality--and often more parts of their life, like their careers--best they can.

She grows a bit--just a bit--more serious then. "The second thing that happened was that the Great Fire created the Marital Forces. The first thing they did was give each Betazoid alive knowledge of what it would mean to have an Imzadi. How it would feel. The bond already existed, and some had it--but it wasn't something understood or even really known about.

Now she smiles. "It did wonders to turn minds from war to trying to feel that again--to find someone they could feel it with. And, yes, there was a great deal of sex and nudity at the time, as the population didn't understand yet that sex was incidental. There also were many who found their Imzadi. And there were many marriages. We marry without clothes on for many reasons. But one is to remember the gift of the Marital Forces that the Great Fire gave us--and to remember that peace brings more blessings than war because when you're a telepath, you hear thoughts--even from those you love--that hurt. And as a society, we sometimes need that reminder."

[tasha_yar]

What, part of that," she asks with caution. "Do you still believe in?"

[2_worlds_1_woman]

Deanna smiles ruefully at the question. "Some of that, some of things I didn't go into, and some things from other worlds. And I'll tell you all of it, Tasha--I enjoy our discussions and just spending time with you, and you know that--but not right now."

She clears her throat then and continues, a bit more softly. "I mentioned the Houses, you see, because I'm a Daughter of the Fifth House. And our trait is nobility. I already caused a minor scandal by joining Starfleet. I never thought that Wyatt would arrive or that this marriage would happen. But he's here," her voice softer yet. "And I will not shame my mother or my house by refusing the marriage. He's a good man, kind, intelligent, and--well, handsome. It's not a death sentence, after all!"

[tasha_yar]

Wrong person to say that to, Deanna.

"No, I've been at that wedding. Just because you're attracted to someone and it would make life better for others does not make it a good idea!"

[2_worlds_1_woman]

She sighs and rubs her forehead. "...Tasha, I'm already conflicted. I'm attracted to Wyatt, yes, but I also just met him. But more..." She bites her lip.

"He's conflicted. I can sense it. About something important, and--I'm only an empath, but he said something about a dream, and his emotions were strong when he did. He's more conflicted than I am, and I even got into an argument with Will today. About this. And he...he reminded me Imzadi also means 'my beloved', then immediately called me Imzadi. And said that right now he can't separate platonic and romantic love. With me."

Deanna looks down. "He's--we haven't seen each other in years. Not since it all went wrong. I didn't think he still cared--like that. And now I know he does." And it's obvious that this is an important issue. "And yet I know Wyatt is more conflicted than I."

She's silent for a few moments.

"I don't know what will happen, Tasha. My mother's will aside. I just don't know. I don't know what's best for me in the long run, and--I don't know."

[grew_the_beard]

When the coms burst into the conversation, it's if the universe answered prayers.

"Riker to Yar."

[tasha_yar]

The look Deanna gets from Tasha is a maelstrom of surprise, amazement, and shock, but her tone stays even.

"Yar here," she replies crisply. "What's the issue?"

[grew_the_beard]

"A Tarellian vessel has just arrived in sensor range and is headed for the planet."

[tasha_yar]

Bad news. Very bad news. Her emotions turn focused and grim.

"On my way," she says already getting up and half way out the door.

[2_worlds_1_woman]

She wasn't called, but Deanna follows.

For now, after all, she's still a Starfleet officer.