Word Choices

[tasha_yar]

To say her first home did not have weddings would be an understatement. Her second home with the Vulcan clan which took her in after that nightmare, like all Vulcan clans, arranged their marriages. Being human (and hopelessly illogical), she wasn't going to be subject to that.

So, please forgive her, Deanna. Tasha is going to be buzzing around her friend with all the enthusiasm of an anthropologist hummingbird. At least today, she bringing stories:

"So Data turns to all of them with this grin and says, 'Could you please continue the petty bickering? I find it most intriguing!' You mother practically burned a hole glaring at her food while still trying to smile!"

Comments

[tasha_yar]

"He's human. I mean, do you think you could be involved enough with a human to read him the way you're talking about?"

[2_worlds_1_woman]

Deanna refuses to let her eyes close, but she can't help the tumult of emotions running through her. Worse, she suspects Will is getting some of it, even with her not intending to send.

"...I know I can have a bond that allows me to read a human that way. Yes."

[tasha_yar]

Tasha often waffles between being out of her depth and sharp as a scalpel. This situation requires neither.

"I'm so sorry, Deanna. I didn't -" She bites her lip. "It's Will, isn't it? I mean, I read he was assigned to Betazed and you were friends, I just didn't -" She moves her fingers together. "Put it all together."

[2_worlds_1_woman]

She lets herself look down and smile crookedly, then. "Imzadi. That's the name of the bond. To have it at all is special and slightly uncommon. You can have a happy marriage without it. But it's...the ideal. And you only have it with one person."

Deanna looks up then, face calm. "Yes. It's Will. We are still Imzadi. And a couple being Imzadi goes back to some of our earliest myths. The ones we formed our religion from--or part of what we formed them from. The Imzadi bond, in the myths, also relate to marriage."

[tasha_yar]

Tasha scrunches up her face in confusion. "Is it kind of like fairy tale true love or something?"

And then she realizes she might not want that information about one of her commanding officers and her best friend, but - again, compulsive curiosity stalked her; made her shut up, lean close, listen, maybe even believe in it (just a little).

"Whatever would help me understand," And you offload. A hand floats over to Deanna's "I'm listening."

[2_worlds_1_woman]

Deanna is pleasantly surprised by the gesture and turns her hand over to clasp Tasha's.

"It means, literally, the first. Not the first person you've had sex with necessarily--that barely matters--but the first..." She trails off for a moment before finishing a little more quietly. "Will is my Imzadi because he was the first to touch my soul through love. And I'm his for the same reason. The bond it creates is something that all Betazoids hope to have within their marriage. It--it is an intimacy beyond sex. And when you experience it, you know. Even if you're not a Betazoid. It's not necessary for the wedding--not all Betazoids ever have an Imzadi, or they may marry someone else."

Just like she's supposed to do, as a daughter of the Fifth House.

"...Would you like to hear how this bond evolved, according to Betazoid beliefs?"

[tasha_yar]

Blue eyes grow wide as galaxies. "Really? Wow. I -" Tasha cuts herself off. Deanna can sense something moving like silk across flesh slip through her friend's thoughts, sobering her and leaving her more thoughtful and quiet in its wake.

"You just know, huh? That someone has a soul and you got to touch it? I can see being grateful for that. Even if it's only a moment; it would be for a lifetime."

As for the rest, she nods, still a little lost in her thoughts.

[2_worlds_1_woman]

"I knew. He didn't know about it, but once I explained it--he knew, too. You can feel it on a level so deep that your mind cannot argue the fact."

Tasha is one of her two dearest friends, not counting Will, on the Enterprise, and so Deanna is open about this part of her past as she's been with no one else. "If my mother had not been manipulative and interfered, we likely would have married. We certainly would have been together. But my mother...gets what she wants most of the time. And I was not strong enough to stand up to her until it was too late."

She doesn't blame only her mother or herself. But this part of the discussion doesn't need to be gone into in more detail.

Deanna thinks for a moment. "Are you even vaguely familiar with Native American religious beliefs and philosophy?"

[tasha_yar]

"No, but I'm willing to put Ambassador Troi in a shuttle with locked autopilot and cover Will's shifts for a week," she grumbled.

She was starting to wonder if all this was turning her into a closet romantic. How ridiculous would that be? All things considered she figured she'd place better odds on Data eventually figuring out these kinds of garbled, intense personal attachments than she would. Would this then be the famed Haven magic at work? That was even more ludicrous. There was no magic. Q be damned.

[2_worlds_1_woman]

Her smile's sad this time, for the first time. "I don't think it would change anything. Beyond lowering my stress level, as my mother always makes it rather high. She won't stop calling me Little One no matter how many times I ask her." The last is grumbled as she pulls her legs into a more comfortable position.

"Betazoid religion and philosophy involves beliefs in gods, heaven, spirits associated with various sites and even just rocks or trees, and the Fates. The Mendissian Historians and the Marital Forces, which protect both married couples and--well. Imzadi. It's a mix of things that have been blended together. You don't need to know all of it; I'm just letting you have an idea of what it's like. It's not even what I believe and practice any longer.

Deanna would kill for something chocolate about now.

:The Imzadi came to be something recognized, named, and desired as the most ideal relationship due to the Great Fire and the Marital Forces."

[tasha_yar]

"Is the Great Fire married, then? I mean I know all this is ancient customs and they aren't designed to make logical sense. That's fine. Continue."

[2_worlds_1_woman]

Deanna laughs at that. "If it is, I've never been told! Anything's possible. The Great Fire created life and gifted Betazoids with telepathy. It was meant to be a gift to create the sort of society that is on Betazed now. A peaceful one.

"But surprisingly," and her voice is dry, "many Betazoids misused the power they'd been given. It eventually lead to a civil war. Many parts of our society were established when it ended--it's when it became a matriarchy--but two were more important than anything else. The Great Fire created the Mendissian Historians. They separated the thirteen families that had worked hardest to end the war and bring peace. Those thirteen families because the Thirteen Houses. Each one is associated with one of the thirteen traits that Betazoids hold most dear. The Third House is the House of Health, for example; the Seventh is the House of Courage. Members of a house are generally expected to ensure they have that trait as a strong part of their personality--and often more parts of their life, like their careers--best they can.

She grows a bit--just a bit--more serious then. "The second thing that happened was that the Great Fire created the Marital Forces. The first thing they did was give each Betazoid alive knowledge of what it would mean to have an Imzadi. How it would feel. The bond already existed, and some had it--but it wasn't something understood or even really known about.

Now she smiles. "It did wonders to turn minds from war to trying to feel that again--to find someone they could feel it with. And, yes, there was a great deal of sex and nudity at the time, as the population didn't understand yet that sex was incidental. There also were many who found their Imzadi. And there were many marriages. We marry without clothes on for many reasons. But one is to remember the gift of the Marital Forces that the Great Fire gave us--and to remember that peace brings more blessings than war because when you're a telepath, you hear thoughts--even from those you love--that hurt. And as a society, we sometimes need that reminder."

[tasha_yar]

What, part of that," she asks with caution. "Do you still believe in?"

[2_worlds_1_woman]

Deanna smiles ruefully at the question. "Some of that, some of things I didn't go into, and some things from other worlds. And I'll tell you all of it, Tasha--I enjoy our discussions and just spending time with you, and you know that--but not right now."

She clears her throat then and continues, a bit more softly. "I mentioned the Houses, you see, because I'm a Daughter of the Fifth House. And our trait is nobility. I already caused a minor scandal by joining Starfleet. I never thought that Wyatt would arrive or that this marriage would happen. But he's here," her voice softer yet. "And I will not shame my mother or my house by refusing the marriage. He's a good man, kind, intelligent, and--well, handsome. It's not a death sentence, after all!"

[tasha_yar]

Wrong person to say that to, Deanna.

"No, I've been at that wedding. Just because you're attracted to someone and it would make life better for others does not make it a good idea!"

[2_worlds_1_woman]

She sighs and rubs her forehead. "...Tasha, I'm already conflicted. I'm attracted to Wyatt, yes, but I also just met him. But more..." She bites her lip.

"He's conflicted. I can sense it. About something important, and--I'm only an empath, but he said something about a dream, and his emotions were strong when he did. He's more conflicted than I am, and I even got into an argument with Will today. About this. And he...he reminded me Imzadi also means 'my beloved', then immediately called me Imzadi. And said that right now he can't separate platonic and romantic love. With me."

Deanna looks down. "He's--we haven't seen each other in years. Not since it all went wrong. I didn't think he still cared--like that. And now I know he does." And it's obvious that this is an important issue. "And yet I know Wyatt is more conflicted than I."

She's silent for a few moments.

"I don't know what will happen, Tasha. My mother's will aside. I just don't know. I don't know what's best for me in the long run, and--I don't know."